Personal
reputations develop over time and are based on how we choose to act in certain
aspects of our lives. A reputation is formed by people judging your actions and
analyzing your social and educational progress. Some people feel strongly that
is important to have a good reputation. As a result, they work harder to be
successful and monitor how they act and converse with others. The description of
this week’s post touches on how people have many domains, and a person’s reputation
differs within each.
Throughout
my life, I have felt that it was important to have a good reputation with
members of my family, particularly my immediate family. I always wanted to make
sure my parents were proud of me and that I was the type of person that my
younger siblings could look up to. When I was younger, my reputation was mainly
focused around how nice I was to my siblings and other peers. Truthfully, I was
on a bit of a short leash when I was younger. I was very nice with other
children but I was always giving my siblings the business, whether that was
fighting with them or poking fun at them. At a certain point, I found myself
losing privileges or getting grounded when “being mean” to my younger siblings.
As I got older, I matured and began to build better relationships with my
brother and sister. I also began to feel the pressure to do well in school. As
the years went on the classes got more difficult, I showed my parents I was an
intelligent and driven individual by getting good grades. I continued this work
into high school to make sure I kept my reputation as a good student intact. In
addition to getting good grades, I made sure to stay out of trouble in high
school. I never had a detention, made sure to never ditched classes, and tried
to stay away from the party scene so I wouldn't have any run ins with the law.
I asked I would help my parents with little errands, such as going to the
grocery store or carting my brother or sister to or from school, sports, and friends’
houses. As a result, my parents had a lot of respect for me and trusted I would
make smart choices. This came with certain benefits, like getting to stay out
later or getting reimbursed for running errands.
Today, I
still feel that my reputation within the family is important and continue to
work hard to be successful. I make sure that I keep in contact with them,
giving everyone a call or text to see how the week, work, or school is going.
Now I’m not
a perfect child. There were plenty of times that I liked to stray away from
suggested behavior. It is a bit difficult to think of specific examples now,
however, it could involve getting into one of the many arguments with my
parents or siblings and/or attending an event I didn't have permission to go
to. I never thought about “cashing it in,” because I never felt the need or
want to. I knew that abandoning my reputation would not pay out in the long
run. The actions that I chose over the years helped solidified a good
reputation with my family, and set me up for all of my accomplishments.
The way you told the story it sounds like your parents had a strong influence on your behavior as you got older. In your follow up comment you might reflect on how much of that was their steering, versus your wanting these things for yourself.
ReplyDeleteI have an older sister and a younger brother. I grew up at a different time, when teen rebellion was more of the norm. My sister was the good kid, till about 11th grade. Then she changed dramatically (at least in a way that was obvious to me - I am 5 years younger.) I too had a falling out with my parents, particularly my mom, when in 10th grade, although doing well in school really wasn't the issue. The question is who gets to make the life choices - which school, which courses.
Several of your classmates wrote posts similar to yours. It is good to be respectful to your parents, but I kind of wonder whether longer term if some rebellion wouldn't actually be better for the kid.
That is now past and you are who you are. When I was in high school the Viet Nam War was ongoing. It created a lot of distrust of authority - as the starting position. It seems to me there are reasons now to be suspicious of authority and, if so, then for some time to put one's parents in that category too. I should complete my story by saying that I returned to being the devoted son after college and that ultimately the path I took I helped with that. I did it because I wanted to, not because I had to. And by that time my parents needed to rely on me and I was ready for that.
Looking back, my parents had a very strong influence on my behavior, which as a result steered me down the path I chose to take. However, as I got older my parents granted me more freedom to make my own decisions. There was less scolding and more lecturing, less questioning and more personal privacy. As you stated in your comment, you grew up in a different time period where rebellion was more of the norm and there were a number of different historical events taking place which gave teens to a number of different perspectives about society. My parents also grew up at this point in time and I think that it had an effect on their parenting. They were able to relate more with people my age than their very traditional, conservative parents could relate with them. So at this point, much of my behavior and decisions were things for myself; however, I also would keep my parents in mind because that is the kind of personality I possess.
ReplyDeleteI think that some sort of rebellion is better for a child in the long term and helps the individual grow more independent. I think its safe to say that most people have rebel in some way or form. The extent of the rebellion that needs to take place depends on the individual, their personality, and beliefs.